Life lessons I learned in 2018 + to new beginnings.

Every year I like to look back and reflect on how much I’ve changed as a person within the last year. Who I’m friends or maybe even not friends with anymore. What guy I’m upset or not upset about this year, it’s little things like that, that I like to think about before I ring in the new year.

&&& 2018 was the year of growth for me.

2018 brought me a lot of cool growing moments in my life, it was a weird but really cool year for me. It was the year I said goodbye to my youth and began my journey of “adulthood”. I air-quote adulthood because I don’t have a 401K yet but I do pay my rent so naturally, my 20-year-old self would feel like a full grown adult.

No, but on a serious note I really did grow up a lot this past year, It was the year of being uncomfortable but also realizing what I’m capable of. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to go to full school time and work 3 jobs on the weekends and stay sane at the same time, but yet here I am doing it.

2018 taught me to push myself out of my comfort zone and to start believing in myself and the moment I did a lot of things changed for me. I learned a lot of tough lessons, had my heart broken a few times, but in the end I turned out okay and for that, I’m grateful. I have high hopes that 2019 will only bring bigger and better things for me. But before I ring in the new year, here are some life lessons + goals I plan on taking with me into 2019.

  1. you have to teach your heart what it cannot accept.

This quote hits home for me because I’m an optimist and I used to HATE being this way because people used to give me crap about being this way, which like ???. But whatever, anyways this year I have had to learn some hard life lessons, in realizing that not everybody has the same heart as you do and for me, I want to believe that most people are good. And 90% of the time they are but sometimes those people aren’t necessarily bad people they just aren’t good people for you. So I try to live by this quote in my relationships + friendships.

2. Invest in people who invest in you.

If only I understood the true meaning of this a year ago, I would have saved SO much time in some relationships. Ugh, I cannot stress this quote enough, I used to make excuses for people all the time, from why a guy didn’t call me back to if a friend didn’t invite me out that night but eventually I gave myself a reality check and the reality is. If someone wants to call you, they will, if someone wants to hang out with you, they’ll invite you, it’s harsh but it’s true but I like to think of it this way – (which is brutal but helps me stay realistic). Think of that one guy or that one friend you realllyyy don’t like hanging out with that much, think of the way you ignore them, and then apply that mindset to the situation you keep making excuses for. Yeah, it sucks but this mindset has saved me from wasting my time on so many people and it helps keep me in check.

3. Get more done in the morning

This is more a goal I have for myself for 2019, rather than a life lesson but in my 20 short years of life, I have come to find out that if I get up early I’m sooo much more productive rather than if I wake up at like noon? Yes, I already sorta knew this but I didn’t dare think about actually DOING it because mornings yanno?

4. Invest in yourself mentally, physically and emotionally.

Ladies and Gents, self-care in all ways is so important!! && I don’t mean doing a face mask here and there, I mean actually investing in your self. I never really understood the importance of self-care until my freshman year of college when I was pulling all-nighters at least twice a week. Your girl pulled over 42 her first semester alone. FORTY-TWO PEOPLE like wtf why did I do that? I was miserable and sleep deprived and all because I wanted to ace my exams and you’ll come to learn that school is not my jam. So after my freshman year, I told myself that I would never jeproadize my mental health again just for a letter grade, so hey I may have failed art but at least I’m happy. That’s a bit of an exaggeration but you get the point, moral of the story is to put yourself first, and like ACTUALLY prioritize yourself because the moment you do, you’ll overall become a happier person. My mom and I talk about how different I look from this time last year to now and it truly shines through all around when you start taking care of yourself. So take your vitamins and tell people to f. off when it’s needed and you’ll be good.

Me this time last year.
Me this year.
See the difference? I’m GLOWING, THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE. *insert hand clapping emoji*

5. There’s no right or wrong way to do something

This one hits home for me especially right now in my life. Growing up, we are told that there’s a certain “way” we are supposed to do things. You go to high school to go to college to go to college to get a job and from there your left with two choices: You either go back to school so you can get a career or you go off and find one and then we get into babies and marriage and ah all of it stresses me out. If you don’t know me, then you wouldn’t know that school is really hard for me and I mean REALLY HARD. I spend more hours than any of my friends at the library, I take fewer class loads and yet I find myself in the same place at the end of every semester. Unhappy and failing. In the wise words of my mother, God gave me many talents in life and I’m so unbelievably thankful that he did, but being naturally good at school was just not one of them. It’s very frustrating living in a culture where it’s very difficult to succeed in life if you don’t earn a college degree. Now, I’m not saying that it’s not possible but from someone who wants to be the head social media director at Cosmopolitan, one day, it’s a little difficult to do that without one. You’re probably thinking about how all of this is relevant to the main point, but I’m telling you this so you get that, there’s no right or wrong way to do something. We were unfortunately raised in a society that tells us to not break away from the status quo and to do what everyone else is doing and I say it’s bullshit. You are not put on this earth to just work a 9-5 job and spend your entire life chasing after the perfect career or family or husband or whatever you desire. I have to believe that we have more of a purpose in this life than just working our entire lives, whether it’s in school or our careers or our families. I don’t know if I’m going back to school next semester, I’ll finish college but I’m not sure how I will and I’m unsure about a lot of things but that’s okay. I rather not know what I’m going to do next in my life than live a life that was structured out in a way where I know my next step because that’s what society says I should be doing. I don’t have a trust fund and I don’t have the next big invention like Steve Jobs did when he dropped out of college to create the iPhone but I do have a lot of passion and drive and hard work has never scared me. So, I guess what I’m saying is I have to believe that there are other ways you can create the life you want to live without having to take the traditional route to do it. For some people, that route is for them and you know what you do you girl and go get em’ but for others like myself, this whole ” you have to do this, this, and this a certain way” just isn’t for me homies. Anywho, moral of the story live your life the way you want to boo, when you hit an obstacle find a way around it or through it because life is not that black and white and there’s no right or wrong way to do something.

Take a shot for me and remember to stay safe & not drink and drive this New Years and let’s ring in 2019.